This is the life, way before the digital age of computers.

Cheers!

Huh, Google is God!

Google is ‘digging’ you!

Just to chill out your day! Enjoy!

GIRL: I have done a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that’s not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

Chill out and have a good laugh!

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. 

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? 

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan!  It’s urgent. 
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about? 

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!  

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

I came across this joke when browsing a forum, find it kinda funny…

President Bush called Tony Blair with an emergency:

“Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried.

“My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”

“George, the British people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,” replied the Prime minister.

“I do need your help,” said Bush. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?”

“Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!” said Blair.

“Oh, and one more small favor, please?” said Bush.

MORE »

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.

The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words “open me first,” and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: “These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third.”

The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast.

After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: “Blame me, your predecessor for every thing”.

Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody’s happy.

A few months later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, “Blame the government for everything”.

It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes to the third envelope and it reads, “Prepare 4 new envelopes”.

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, “The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind.”

They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, “Do you know where we are?”

“I think so,” replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!”